I'm a school wellness director and strength & conditioning coach of teenage boys. Every week I share honest thoughts for parents who want to use their son's new interest in fitness as a vehicle to build sustainable wellness skills, but don't know what to do or how to do it. I use research from education, exercise science, and adolescent development, along with my own creative storytelling twists, to highlight my belief that every boy needs a wellness-focused strength coach for his physical, mental, and emotional growth.
Your teenage son should play freshmen football...
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…or freshman soccer, cross-country, or golf. Something. He should do some type of athletic activity or sport the fall of his freshman year of a new school, even if he isn’t athletic at all. And it has nothing to do with the actual sport. Teenage boys are social creatures looking for connection and a sense of belonging, and in my opinion as an educator and coach, there is no more efficient and effective way of doing this than trying out for a fall sport freshman year. In August of 1998, I was leaving my hometown to go to a private school in Boston. I knew a few other guys going, but was really nervous leaving all of my hometown friends and the comfort my hometown gave me. Initially, I didn’t want to go to this school; I had good friends in my town, was one of the better athletes in my grade, and had a girlfriend (I know, I was soooo cool). I fought my parents tooth and nail, but eventually relented to the new school. I had played football in 7th and 8th grade so going out for the team was a natural decision. When I showed up that first day and saw 50 other kids wanting to play, I immediately became excited and nervous. The first day of tryouts I met some other South Shore boys from surrounding towns, nice funny guys with the same interests as me, and we instantly became friends. Friends that I had moving into the first day of school. Friends that I saw as I walked into biology class for the first time. Friends that I was able to sit with at lunch, and friends that I was able to take the bus with after practice. Not too long after the first day, these were the friends I hung out with outside of school. For the last 20 years as a teacher and coach I have seen this play out over and over again. Whether it is football or another sport, I see incoming freshman boys’ belonging needs already being met before the academic classes even start. If you’re a parent reading this, imagine the sigh of relief knowing that your son already has friends at a new school. That alone is such a massive win. On the flip side, those that chose not to go out for a fall sport can already feel left out from the social groups that had a head start on forming. Sometimes those boys never catch up and find friends with the “cliques” already set. Which could lead to their school experience being spoiled by a lack of connection and belonging. Loneliness and isolation have been declared a public health crisis and is only getting worse. With technology getting better and at-home games becoming more exciting, why would a teenage boy want to risk potential embarrassment trying out for a sport? It’s scary and can be very uncomfortable. But the research is clear that these little in-person moments of connection and belonging are important to a teenager's well-being. By going out of for a fall sport freshman year at his new school (or whatever grade it is he is new), it can alleviate that isolation. So parents, if your teenage son resists, make him tryout anyway. Yes, that’s right, I said make him. It’s for his own health and well-being. I loved my high school experience, mostly because of the connection and belonging it gave me. And it started with great friendships. Friends I still have to this day I owe to going out for freshman football. Be well, Coach Steve Kiely M.Ed, CSCS |
WELLNESS & FITNESS FOR TEENAGE BOYS
I'm a school wellness director and strength & conditioning coach of teenage boys. Every week I share honest thoughts for parents who want to use their son's new interest in fitness as a vehicle to build sustainable wellness skills, but don't know what to do or how to do it. I use research from education, exercise science, and adolescent development, along with my own creative storytelling twists, to highlight my belief that every boy needs a wellness-focused strength coach for his physical, mental, and emotional growth.
Picture the ride home after dropping your son off at college. The car is quiet, and your husband is gripping the wheel. “He played baseball year-round all through high school,” he says, “so let’s hope he learned how to stay in shape.” You nod, but you’re not thinking about baseball. Will he be healthy? Can he physically take care of himself? You watch the road and wonder what his health will look like by Thanksgiving. Parents are nervous, frustrated, or frankly scared that their son isn’t...
Teenage boys today are physically weaker, less mobile and less aerobically fit than they were a generation ago. Additionally, they are sleeping less and continue to not eat breakfast. This isn’t good news from the CDC and definitely isn’t good news for parents of teenage boys. In my own experience, I’ve noticed that many of the teenage boys I initially meet to train as their strength coach lack basic general fitness; their grip strength gives out quick, their core cannot stabilize a simple...
It's a scene that plays out in gyms across the country every fall. A dad hears that the new guy running the weight room played Division I football, maybe he even went pro. He's strong, confident, and motivational. The dad shakes his hand, watches him move some serious weight, and thinks: "This is exactly who I want training my son." It's a completely understandable conclusion, but it's misguided. Not because he isn't a good person or a great role model, but because playing a sport at an elite...